Of all the Baldwin brothers, it's Daniel Baldwin we love the most. Forget Alec Baldwin, Stephen Baldwin, Biffo Baldwin, Baldwin Baldwin, Sleepy Baldwin, Dopey Baldwin or Pierre de Coubertin Baldwin – Daniel Baldwin has stolen our hearts in a big way.
However, it seems as if hearts aren't the only thing that Daniel Baldwin is good at stealing – if the police are to be believed then Daniel Baldwin also has a nifty little sideline in stealing cars. And ever since Daniel Baldwin skipped a court date in California that was supposed to determine whether he'd stolen his friend's car illegally or not, an arrest warrant has been out on his head. Daniel Baldwin says the whole car-stealing thing is a giant mistake, but who can blame him for making off with a White 2003 GMC Yukon – no doubt it was the most exciting thing he'd been in since his exceptionally minor role in Born On The Fourth Of July.
Some celebrities just need to be kept away from certain things. For instance, put Tom Cruise too close to a placenta and he'll probably gobble it up without a second thought and Russell Crowe, when handed a telephone, tends to start lashing out uncontrollably with it. Similarly, if you put Daniel Baldwin anywhere near the vicinity of a car you can expect something pretty terrible to happen.
Like the time that Daniel Baldwin got arrested for crashing his car into a parked Hummer at 80mph, causing the Hummer to leap 20ft in the air. Or the time that Daniel Baldwin was arrested on suspicion of stealing a car and filling it full of drugs. That last one's important, because it's the reason why an arrest warrant has been put out for Daniel Baldwin, as ABC News reports:
A bench warrant and APB were issued on Tuesday for the arrest of actor Daniel Baldwin for failing to appear at a scheduled arraignment hearing in Newport Beach, Calif. The hearing was scheduled to determine if charges should be filed for illegally taking another person's car last November. Daniel Baldwin… told ABC News exclusively, "I am very sad that this whole thing transpired. I thought that I had done everything right and to find out that I am a story on the news for this makes me upset."
According to Daniel Baldwin, Daniel Baldwin's lawyer and Daniel Baldwin's friend whose car was stolen in the first place, the arrest warrant is a huge misunderstanding. Common consensus seems to be that Daniel Baldwin's friend lent his car to Daniel Baldwin without telling his girlfriend, who then called the police when she noticed the car was missing. But since he missed the hearing date yesterday, Daniel Baldwin has been on the run like some kind of rubbish fugitive.
So what can Daniel Baldwin do? Not turn to Alec Baldwin, that's for sure. Alec Baldwin is too busy winning awards for 30 Rock, being in Oscar hopeful The Departed, being fucked in the ass by Colin Farrell's stalker, throwing a girly tantrum about Arnold Schwarzenegger Nazi documentaries and trying to stop Kim Basinger from making chocolate bar wrappers that slur his character. So maybe Daniel Baldwin should head over to the police station and hand himself in. Probably not by car, though – chances are Daniel Baldwin would probably wrap it round a tree and catch it on fire, knowing his history.
Read more:
APB Issued For Daniel Baldwin, Lawyer Says It's A Mistake – ABC
Pedro says
What about Stephen Baldwin? He has God on his side now
Kerry says
Whatever happened to Danny Baldwin?