If you were Melissa Joan Hart, you’d probably want to be known for something other than Sabrina The Teenage Witch.

So good for Melissa Joan Hart. She’s finally exorcised the witch. Now, whenever people think of her, they won’t think of all the things that defined her hit show – like the creepy talking cat, her weirdly sexual aunt and the fact that appeared to still be attending high school in her mid-thirties – they’ll think of her as the woman who once came eighth in a middling season of Dancing With The Stars.

Unless Louie Vito gets remembered for that instead. He came eighth on Dancing With The Stars last night, too.

The halfway point of televised dance contests is always an important watermark. For us, personally, it’s the point where we convince ourselves that it’s never going to end and we’ll be forced to spend the rest of our miserable lives in a depressing never-ending spiral of fake tans and sequins and rictus Vaseline grins, listening to a tiny Italian man shriek endless incomprehensible high-pitched non-sequiturs by way of a nightmarish commentary until our cochleas give up the ghost and shatter into a billion pieces.

But that’s just us.

For Dancing With The Stars itself, this tends to be the point where it begins to take itself seriously as a dancing show, and forcefully starts to eliminate those crowd-pleasers who lack any discernible talent. That’s bad news for Michael Irvin, the butter-fingers footballer who seems mildly intent on unintentionally bludgeoning his partner to death before the season is out.

But it’s worse news for Sabrina The Teenage Witch star Melissa Joan Hart and professional snowboarder Louie Vito, who were both eliminated from Dancing With The Stars last night. In Hart’s case it was because she was a lousy dancer and nobody liked her, and in Vito’s case we suspect it was because a) being a snowboarder isn’t a proper job and b) he’s got a name like a mobster but he isn’t actually a mobster, which disappoints everyone when they meet him. E! Online reports:

“That’s the game,” Melissa said. “It’s tough, I was hoping to make it one more week. My husband was coming next week with my kids.”… “It’s a lot harder than it looks, dealing with frustration, nerves, because you’re doing something you’re not comfortable with in front of millions of people,” added Louie, who punctuated his exit with a backwards-twisty-twirly snowboard trick off the stage.

Don’t feel upset for Melissa Joan Hart or Louie Vito, though – sure, they’ll be disappointed by their exit from Dancing With The Stars, but it’s not like people will be coming up to them on the street to chastise them for their poor routines. Admittedly that’s because Melissa Joan Hart hasn’t been famous for about a decade and Louie Vito just hasn’t been famous, but should still come as a comfort to them.

Kelly Osbourne out next week, though, please.

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