Dancing With The Stars Loses Chuck Liddell, World Somehow Gets Over It

By Stuart Heritage on Wednesday, October 14, 2009 at 11:00amNo Comments


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Dancing With The Stars, Chuck Liddell, Kelly OsbourneDancing With The Stars is obviously getting tougher – it can afford to lose Chuck Liddell this early.

Chuck Liddell was ace. Don’t believe us? Fine, show us a better Dancing With The Stars contestant who rolls around inside a cage in his pants for a living and whose surname sounds a little bit like the name of a German discount supermarket. What’s that? You can’t? We rest our case.

Still, it doesn’t matter. Chuck Liddell has been eliminated from Dancing With The Stars anyway. It’s bittersweet news – it’s sad because Chuck Liddell had so much potential, but at least Dancing With The Stars is one week closer to ending now.

We hate to say it, but Dancing With The Stars hasn’t been living up to its full potential this year. You’ll remember that last year Dancing With The Stars was a flurry of stalking and horrific-sounding diseases and, in Cloris Leachman, the world’s oldest woman.

But this year? So far the highlight has either been an old man hurting his foot or the sight of Kelly Osbourne stumbling around out of time. That’s hardly an exclusive, is it? If we wanted to see Kelly Osbourne being disappointing so badly we could have just bought tickets to see her in Chicago or watched one of her music videos on YouTube or something.

And now we’re sad to report that Dancing With The Stars has lost another reason to watch. Last night Ultimate Fighting champion Chuck Liddell was kicked off the show, disappointing all four people in the minuscule subcategory of Ultimate Fighting fans who also like ballroom dancing, and dashing the hopes of anyone who desperately wanted to see Chuck Liddell suffer some sort of awful hallucinatory flashback mid-dance and start attacking people in the studio audience like a cross between Rambo and history’s angriest bear. But anyway, AP reports:

“It’s hard to do,” he said. “I made a shot at it.” … “You not so much danced but raided the two-step,” judge Bruno Tonioli said. “You bring carnage and mayhem to everything you do.” … Though the couple never topped a score of 19, Trebunskaya said Liddell made her proud each week.”You are my bear and you are my hippo,” she said. “I loved working with you.”

Never mind, Chuck Liddell. It was brave of you to try your hand at a show like Dancing With The Stars, even though your journey ended in failure. And besides, we’ve seen The Wrestler so we know that the rest of your life will be a resounding success – especially the part where you deliberately chop your hand open with a deli meat slicer. Boy oh boy, you’re going to do that better than anyone.

So now that Chuck Liddell has gone, who’ll be the next to leave Dancing With The Stars? Will it Macy Gray? Sabrina The Teenage Witch? Kelly Osbourne? Everyone, because the head of ABC will wake up one morning, think “Oh, what’s the point?” and deliberately burn down the Dancing With The Stars studio?

Yes, the last one please.

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