Once again, we come to the end of another week of Dancing On Ice rundowns – and something’s just hit us.
Famously Dancing On Ice has the stupidest viewers on TV – as evidenced by the way it keeps voting off the good skaters – and that’s given us a terrifying thought: is Coleen Nolan going to win Dancing On Ice? She hasn’t been in a skate-off yet, so the viewers obviously love her. She might win. That’s a chilling proposition. Someone hold us.
Anyway, here’s the Dancing On Ice rundown for Ray Quinn…
Ray Quinn – You want to know how good Ray Quinn is at Dancing On Ice? You want to know why a man who looks like an Atom Boy doll with radiation burns is bound to win Dancing On Ice? OK, here?s why – last week Ray Quinn ballsed his routine up spectacularly, by wearing a hat back to front and being unable to throw things without looking like a polio-stricken girl, and yet he still came top on the Dancing On Ice scoreboard. He's just that much better than his competitors. In the land of the blind the one-eyed man is king, they say. We think that means someone should partially blind Ray Quinn.
But until that happens, we've got to put up with even more typically excellent routines, like Ray?s performance on Sunday to Use Somebody. The routine?s high point was a sort of starjump that would have scuppered a lesser skater. However, Ray pulled it off with aplomb. This, we're sure you're aware, is because Ray Quinn doesn't actually have any genitals. Dancing On Ice score – 28
Next week: our final week of Dancing On Ice rundowns.
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Shooty* says
Dude rocks.
Littlewing says
You guys really suck butt…but you know that, right?
Kealey says
You Guys Are Twats Ray Is Amazing And By The Way He Has More Balls Than You Lot Put Together.
Kealey says
Sorry I Shouldn’t Have Swore ” You Guys Are Butt Suckers Ray Is Amazing And By The Way He Has More Balls Than You Lot Put Together “.
Kealey says
Oh And Btw He Won, Haha! I Bet You’re Well Pissed Cunt,
You’re Just Jealous Because He Is Talented And Amazing To Look At Whereas You’re Not Haha!