Dancing On Ice: Poxy Old Ray Quinn

by Stuart Heritage on February 19, 2009 4 Comments

Look, we’ve been doing our best to ignore this, but it has become completely unavoidable, so here goes.

The point of these Dancing On Ice rundowns is to profile each contestant throughout the week. All of them. Even the ones we don’t like. Even the ones who look like berserk Chucky dolls on the rampage after a bizarre Pinocchio experiment turned them into real boys.

So, we’re sad to say, here’s the Dancing On Ice rundown for Ray Quinn

Ray Quinn - Earlier this wee we mentioned that, even though he could easily beat you in a fight, Ellery Hanley was a terrible ice skater. The exact opposite seems to be true with Ray Quinn – the shiny-faced spiritual descendant of the robot kid from AI who is almost definitely going to win Dancing On Ice but would comprehensively lose in a fight to an arthritic guinea pig. And that’s a trade-off we’re happy with, frankly. Especially since Ray Quinn isn’t just good at Dancing On Ice any more – according to the judge’s he’s actually perfect, as proved by his admittedly OK performance to Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now. God, Ray Quinn’s a bastard. Dancing On Ice score – 30

Next week: Dancing On Ice! For a change!

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Shooty* February 19, 2009 at 12:04 pm

Much as I hate to say it, gotta love the little scouse fella.

Reply

magnetite February 19, 2009 at 2:03 pm

He’ll win it. Then he’ll win Homunculus of the Year, no doubt. The prototype was successful. The mad scientist who created him will be cackling out muhahahaha’s and cranking up the rest of his eldritch machinery to produce an army of Ray ‘Mannie’ Quinns.

God help us all.

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Terri Lyndon February 19, 2009 at 3:01 pm

You are just jealous as he is so good at everything he does and so good looking.
He is a very talented lad and is no newcomer to showbusiness – X Factor was not the start for him, he was in Brookside when he was EIGHT and won TV awards THEN for his acting so give the guy a break and lets cheer on a Brit who is good at something (for a change)

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Gilbert Wham February 19, 2009 at 6:31 pm

That doesn’t sound like very British behaviour Terri.

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