Our Sunday evenings won’t be the same anymore – we won’t have to hear a whiny bloke moan about his ankle any more.

That’s right, Michael Underwood is out of Dancing On Ice. We think we know why, too – and it has nothing to do with his Dancing On Ice routine to Kiss last night, either. No, the reason is because Michael managed to drop his partner on her face during rehearsals yesterday. Break your own bones, that’s fine, but trying to break someone else’s and you’re out, sunshine.

So, with Michael Underwood gone, here’s our Dancing On Ice rundown for Donal MacIntyre and Ellery Hanley…

Donal MacIntyre – On Dancing On Ice, when a contestant is described as adventurous, it’s normally a compliment. Not with Donal MacIntyre, though – he loves experimenting with new moves and stage interaction and whatnot, but there’s just one problem. Donal MacIntyre couldn’t iceskate well if you put a gun to his head. Maybe someone should try that next week, actually, because it might stop Donal falling onto his arse in front of millions of people, just like he did during his performance to Everybody Needs Somebody yesterday. Or, failing that, maybe they should just cover him with a blanket and shoot him like a horse. That might be less painful. Dancing On Ice score – 16

Ellery Hanley – What a difference a week makes. After his first Dancing On Ice performance three weeks ago, Ellery Hanley was touted as one of the dancers to beat. But then, last week, it all fell apart. Some say that Ellery looked drunk, but that’s incorrect – he actually looked like a marionette puppet being operated by a drunk. He was terrible. Not terrible enough for one idiot to suggest that his routine to With Or Without You this week should end with him lifting his partner high above his head one-handed. Fortunately he managed to pull it off without obliterating anyone’s skeleton on the night, but that doesn’t really detract from the fact that he couldn’t even manage to skate on his knees properly, the poor fool. Dancing On Ice score – 16

Tomorrow: we turn our Dancing On Ice sights on Melinda Messenger and Coleen Nolan.

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