The thing we like best about Dancing On Ice, other than the fact that it’s nearly over, is the weekly Torvill and Dean routine.

Really, we honestly love it. It doesn’t matter what they do, Torvill and Dean always deliver. Like on Sunday’s show, for instance, Torvill and Dean’s routine was almost completely unforgettable, apart from the fact that he was dressed like a stroppy waiter and she was dressed like a discarded Ferrero Rocher wrapper. It’s attention to detail like this that makes Torvill and Dean number one!

Here’s the Dancing On Ice rundown for Jessica Taylor…

Jessica Taylor – This is odd. Since the start of Dancing On Ice, Jessica Taylor has been second only to Ray Quinn in the rankings, but now she’s officially doing worse than Coleen Nolan and that rubbish undercover reporter bloke. Clearly you don’t have to be a genius to work out why this has happened: Jessica Taylor only has two facial expressions – one that’s utterly blank and another one that makes her look like a bear that’s been booted in the balls, which we think is meant to symbolise happiness or something. Either way, if you can’t connect to your audience you’re done for. And Jessica was in Liberty X, so she hasn’t had an audience for years. But, desperate to win her fans back, Jessica opted for a danger-packed routine on Sunday’s Dancing On Ice, full of lifts and spins that could all potentially end in puddles of blood. That didn’t happen, of course, but it’s a testament to Jessica’s lack of personality that she take a daredevil routine and make it look sort of dreary. Well done Jessica! Dancing On Ice score – 26

Tomorrow – Donal MacIntyre’s Dancing On Ice rundown.

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