Oh Dancing On Ice, how could you do this to us? First you get rid of Todd Carty and now Eller Hanley too?

Ellery Hanley was voted off Dancing On Ice last night, and for a very good reason – although he could easily beat you in a fight, his ice skating is dreadful. To be fair, Ellery’s routine last night to Come On Eileen had some good points. It’s just that none of them happened to include ice skating. Truly, the man was awful.

So, Ellery Hanley’s out, but here’s the Dancing On Ice rundown for Melinda Messenger and Donal MacIntyre…

Melinda Messenger – Just because she managed to scrape through a week without being in the Dancing On Ice dance-off last week doesn’t mean that Melinda Messenger is safe – she could still be voted out at any moment. So Melinda really needed to up her game yesterday, because if she went then the biggest pair of tits on the show would be Donal MacIntyre and Ray Quinn, and that’s not very good at all. Melinda’s Dancing On Ice routine to 99 Red Balloons was pretty unremarkable, apart from the bit where her partner nearly dropped her on her face. That was good. More like that, please. Dancing On Ice score – 17.5

Donal MacIntyre – Just a thought, right, but do you get the feeling that Donal MacIntyre is giving up being an undercover reporter? We’re just saying, because it’d probably be quite hard for him to spend six months subtly integrating himself into a crew of football hooligans if they’ve all seen him cock about in a spangly unitard on a teatime reality show. On Sunday’s Dancing On Ice, Donal danced to Addicted To Love, and he decided to show the judges that he could inject a bit of pace into his performances. He did this by a) watching some speed skaters for about half an hour and b) skating so slowly during his routine that it looked like he was taking the piss. Dancing On Ice score – 18.5

Tomorrow: Coleen Nolan and Roxanne Pallet.

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