Dancing On Ice Betting Odds: That Claire Woman To Win?

For many people, the last few rounds of a show like Dancing On Ice are the best, as the rubbish Dr Fox-style losers have all been kicked out, leaving the naturally talented dancers to showcase their God-given Dancing On Ice skill and grace in peace.

Not us - for us, the first few episodes of Dancing On Ice are always the best. Only in the first couple of episodes do the Dancing On Ice contestants look like they're genuinely petrified of falling over and gashing their throats open with their foot-blades. Also, now that Torvill And Dean have commandeered more or less the entire first half of Dancing On Ice just to show Philip Scofield that they can do a Dad dance to a Queen song, the actual Dancing On Ice contestants only get about 2.5 nanoseconds each to do any kind of routine. And Lisa Scott-Lee still managed to fall over.

But who's going to win Dancing On Ice this year? Here's part two of this week's Dancing On Ice betting odds to win - for Lee Sharpe, Ulrika Jonsson, Kyran Bracken, Duncan James and Claire Buckfield - with help from Paddy Power…

Lee Sharpe - Is it just us, or does Lee Sharpe have the most cartoonishly untrustworthy face in the whole universe? It's that mixture of wolf teeth, owl eyes and girl hair, we think. Plus he earns money by putting on lycra tops and skating around to Scissor Sister songs, which doesn't exactly help things. On Saturday's Dancing On Ice, though, Lee Sharpe put this chronic untrustworthiness behind him and picked up a respectable score of 18.5. Given that score and the fact he hasn't made any girls cry yet, we're guessing that Dancing On Ice suits him better than Celebrity Love Island. Current Dancing On Ice betting odds - 10/1

Ulrika Jonsson - Our guess is this: after gaining notoriety for having sex with all kinds of men who done treated her bad, Ulrika Jonsson went on Dancing On Ice to claw back some respectability. And her determination to do this was seen on the Dancing On Ice training rink, where she repeatedly kicked a cone around in frustration. But all the work paid off, and Ulrika's graceful routine to Come Away With Me wowed the judges, who gave her a huge Dancing On Ice score of 21. And the one of the judges mentioned how quickly Ulrika separates her legs, and everyone was reminded about all the blokes she's shagged again. Current Dancing On Ice betting odds - 8/1

Kyran Bracken - One of the problems we have with Dancing On Ice is that we're not skating experts, so it's hard to tell if a dancer's routine is good or bad. But we didn't have that problem with Kyran Bracken. A big lad, we expected Kyran Bracken to stumble out onto the ice, fall on his partner and smash her spine to dust, but that wasn't the case at all - Kyran Bracken took the opportunity to incorporate The Worm into his Dancing On Ice routine to Crazy. The Worm! We can't even do The Worm on normal ground, let alone on ice with two knives strapped to our feet. With a score like 22, we want Kyran Bracken to win Dancing On Ice please. Current Dancing On Ice betting odds - 7/2

Duncan James - There's a reason why Duncan James' solo career faltered, and that's because he needs some major image guidance. Going on the basis that all boybands are gay, anyone leaving a boyband to go solo usually tries to assert their heterosexuality as much as they can. That message hasn't got through to Duncan though. Not only did he sign up for Dancing On Ice, he decided to wear a powder blue shirt open to the navel for his routine and then he chose to dance to a Paulo Nutini song too. And, just in case anyone didn't see that Duncan James was gunning for the title of Gayest Man In The Effing Universe, he turned out to be really good at ice skating, too - ending up with a score of 21.5. We despair. Current Dancing On Ice betting odds - 5/2

Claire Buckfield - Claire Buckfield used to be a famous actress before one of Ant And Dec trapped her as their love-slave. These acting skills came in handy on Saturday's Dancing On Ice, when Claire had to do a solo spot in her routine. Luckily, Claire's experience in channelling emotion helped her immensely, as she kept pulling faces like a toddler sniffing a bad poo-poo throughout her performance. Despite all this, Claire actually did better than the other Dancing On Ice contestants, and reeled in a mighty score of 24.5. Claire will only get better at skating as Dancing On Ice progresses, but the big question is whether she'll get better at pulling faces that don't make her look like a ridiculous ass-clown. Current Dancing On Ice betting odds - 2/1

That's all the Dancing On Ice betting odds you;ll be getting this week. But if that's too long to wait - or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with - head right over to the Paddy Power Dancing On Ice betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.