So that's it for Kay Burley – after week after week of being beaten to within an inch of her life, Kay Burley is out of Dancing On Ice, which means she'll probably have to go back to doing dreadful Sky Three interviews with rubbish Big Brother housemates.
"If the judges could give you points for bravery," Philip Scofield told Kay Burley this week "you'd have sixes all round." What a lot of shit – the only way that Kay Burley would ever get a six in Dancing On Ice is if the judges started awarding points for falling over all the sodding time. Adding to her long list of Dancing On Ice injuries, Kay Burley first decided to knacker her spine 24 hours before Saturday's Dancing On Ice went live and, if that wasn't enough, around 60 minutes before broadcast time she had yet another fall, this time directly onto her – now perfectly concave – face. Funnily enough, the terror of hurting herself again meant that her live routine to Dancing On Ice was just enormously poor.
But who's going to win Dancing On Ice this year? Here's part one of our Dancing On Ice betting odds to win for this week – for Lee Sharpe, Emily Symons and Lisa Scott-Lee – with betting odds from Paddy Power…
Lee Sharpe – After being in the Dancing On Ice skate-off last week, any enthusiasm Lee Sharpe had for dressing up in frilly blouses and titting around in uncomfortable footwear had disappeared completely. To try and replace all this bitterness with something more positive, his Dancing On Ice decided to take him to a line dancing class. Line Dancing. Frankly we're surprised that Lee Sharpe didn't blow the back of his head off with a sawn-off. Anyway, an old lady looked at his arse and that cheered him up enough to dance to King Of The Road with enough verve to earn himself a score of 23.5 – his best yet. Even so, the bits of his routine between the fancy lifts were all a bit robotic and we're almost positive that wolfy Lee can't win Dancing On Ice no matter what. Current Dancing On Ice betting odds – 16/1
Emily Symons – Most of the Dancing On Ice routines that Emily Symons has performed so far have been slow graceful affairs that have uniformly been duller than a UK History documentary about old-fashioned drizzle. But Saturday saw Emily Symons in full-on perky mode, zooming around like child-star to 9 To 5. Obviously not an especially well-coordinated child-star – about 30 seconds in Emily stumbled and wildly flailed her arms around for about three hours afterwards, confirming her fears that she wasn't very good at dancing by herself. Although she didn't fully recover from the stumble, it was still a decent enough routine and, at 19.5, was two full points better than Kay Burley's and enough to save her from the skate-off. Current Dancing On Ice betting odds – 12/1
Lisa Scott-Lee – Since Saturday's Dancing On Ice had a godawful country theme, Lisa Scott-Lee bewilderingly decided that incorporating some old Steps moves into her routine to Man I Feel Like A Woman. If that didn't sound like suicide, then the fact that Lisa Scott-Lee – a veteran of the deliberately-staged topless paparazzi beach shot – claimed to have trouble being sexy undoubtedly did. In the end, though, Lisa Scott-Lee threw herself head-on into her Dancing On Ice routine – launching at spins, flips, lunges and something called a hydroblade with frightening abandon, especially since she was dressed as a ropey lapdancer at the same time. In the end Lisa Scott-Lee won a Dancing On Ice score of 24.5, which is pretty good for a woman who often confuses 'sexy' with 'pulling a face like a toddler doing an impression of a tiger'. Current Dancing On Ice betting odds – 7/1
Tomorrow – The second half of this Dancing On Ice blowout. But if that's too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Dancing On Ice betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.