Dancing On Ice Betting Odds: No More Phil Gayle, Boo Hoo Hoo

This series of Dancing On Ice is really hotting up, although sadly not enough for the ice rink to melt and drown all the competitors - and newsreader Phil Gayle is the latest to get the Dancing On Ice shove, primarily because nobody knows who he is.

Many events conspired against Phil Gayle on Saturday's Dancing On Ice. First was his height - Phil Gayle is over six feet tall and it's a scientific fact that only people legally classed as dwarfs can ice skate properly - and second was the fact that Phil Gayle couldn't act gracefully if you held a gun to his head. As a benchmark by which to judge Phil Gayle's bad skating, he was knocked out of Dancing On Ice after a skate-off with Ulrika Jonsson, who is universally disliked and keeps falling over all the time. Poor Phil Gayle - we'd miss you if we even had the slightest beginnings of a clue about who you are.

But who's going to win Dancing On Ice this year? Here's part one of this week's Dancing On Ice betting odds to win - for Kay Burley, Stephen Gately, Ulrika Jonsson, Emily Symons and Lee Sharpe - with betting odds coming from Paddy Power…

Kay Burley - During the last Dancing On Ice, Kay Burley would have got the chop were it not for the perennial shitness of Dr Fox, so on this week's episode Kay Burley really had something to prove. And what did Kay Burley prove? That she could smash her face against the ice harder than anyone else, that's what. During this week's Dancing On Ice training, Kay cracked her head on the ice rink so hard that it actually stopped her being insufferable for a moment or two. But then when showtime came Kay was so terrified of going near the ice that during her routine to Brown Eyed Girl she ended up looking more scared than she would have done if the entire audience had blowpipes aimed at her head and only got a score of 15.5 as a result. Current Dancing On Ice betting odds - 50/1

Stephen Gately - According to Philip Scofield, newspapers have been reporting that Stephen Gately was knocking back whiskey to calm his nerves before Dancing On Ice, but this week it wasn't Stephen Gately who buggered things up - it was his tiny Canadian dance partner, who bobbled and quivered throughout their routine to Can't Get You Out Of My Head as if someone had put muscle relaxant in her pre-show tea. We're blaming her mistake on the massive intake of breath from the Dancing On Ice audience when they realised that she was dressed up as a sexy robot Bond girl. Didn't stop them being rubbish enough to get a 15.5 score, though. Current Dancing On Ice betting odds - 25/1

Ulrika Jonsson - Last week we mentioned that Ulrika Jonsson was taking part in Dancing On Ice to try and make people forget that she was mostly famous for having it off with men all the time, only for a judge to make a crack about how quickly she opens her legs. And this week, what did Ulrika Jonsson do her Dancing On Ice routine to? I'm Every Woman, because every woman has shagged Stan Collymore, Sven Goran Eriksson, John Leslie and Hunter out of Gladiators, haven't they? Anyway, during her dance Ulrika fell over and was slung in the skate-off as a result. We think this was because the weight of wearing all the world's eye makeup dragged her head to the ground. Ulrika's Dancing On Ice score was 17.5. Current Dancing On Ice betting odds - 12/1

Emily Symons - On Home And Away and Emmerdale, Emily Symons is famous for being the happy breasty blonde girl, but on Dancing On Ice, Emily is showing a totally different side - she's the crying breasty freakout girl. After her Dancing On Ice training wig-out was shown to the whole world, her Dancing On Ice routine to Buttons had about as much sizzle as a 10-mile hike in a thunderstorm and got a sex-free Dancing On Ice score of 18.5, and that didn't help her chances at all. On the plus side her partner wasn't dressed up as a Filipino prostitute this week, and for that we're eternally grateful. Current Dancing On Ice betting odds - 12/1

Lee Sharpe - Discounting bruised faces, wobbles and trips, we're of the understanding that Lee Sharpe's Dancing On Ice routine on Saturday was the worst of the night. And we're pinning that completely on the song he chose. It was Should I Stay Or Should I Go. Yes, by The Clash. Actually, it wasn't the song so much as the way that Lee Sharpe treated it - he basically distilled the rebellious punk spirit by gelling his hair a bit more than usual and doing some air guitar. On a Saturday teatime ITV show about dancing on some ice. Lee Sharpe got a score of 18.5 for his performance, but that didn't stop us from wanting to play ice hockey using his face as a puck. Current Dancing On Ice betting odds - 10/1

Tomorrow - Part two of these goshdarn Dancing On Ice betting odds. But if that's too long to wait - or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with - head right over to the Paddy Power Dancing On Ice betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.