Dancing On Ice Betting Odds: Gareth Gates

Time for some more Dancing On Ice betting odds? You bet your balls it is.

Actually, although we've been hard on Dancing On Ice lately, we've come to realise that actually it serves a decent purpose - usually when people win these celebrity shows they try and get their own TV show, but not with Dancing On Ice. With Dancing On Ice, the winners tend to go off and ice skate for a living, like Kyran Bracken did last year. And nobody ever hears from them again. So, in theory, if everyone votes for Chris Fountain to win Dancing On Ice, he'll quickly disappear forever. Bonus!

Who'll win Dancing On Ice? Here are the Dancing On Ice betting odds for Suzanne Shaw and Gareth Gates, with help from Paddy Power…

Suzanne Shaw - Last week saw Suzanne Shaw 'raising the bar' - as these sorts of cruddy reality TV shows like to put it - by turning in an audacious tap-dancing performance despite being bandaged up to the wazoo. Usually an injury inspires pity from the viewing audience, but not Suzanne Shaw, who's striking us as a bit of a cyborg at the moment, albeit a cyborg with shit taste in men. Sunday's Dancing On Ice routine was almost completely ridiculous - in a set of chavvy hair extensions, Suzanne didn't so much dance to Are You Gonna Be My Girl as see how many different potentially deadly scenarios she could put herself in. And that was clear the instant Suzanne entered into a Headbanger spin - with her skull centimetres away from the ice it was easily the scariest thing Suzanne's done since Darren Day. SCORE - 24.5 - Current Dancing On Ice betting odds - 7/2

Gareth Gates - Want to know how competitive Gareth Gates is? Look at how he responded to the ongoing discussion about Holly Willoughby's risque dresses - terrified that someone was getting an atom more attention than him, Gareth turned up in an outfit where his nipples were so prominent that we kept ducking in case they took one of our eyes out. To be honest we feared that Gareth Gates would roll up to Dancing On Ice butt-naked this week, but instead we had to make do with some crappy flame-shaped bits of cloth pinned to a yellow T-shirt. Although Gareth performed a Dancing On Ice routine to Blame It On The Boogie, the real show was watching him battle his nerves after smashing up his partner's body in rehearsal. And he sort of pulled it off, although the performance was so dull that we forgot everything about it the second it was over. SCORE - 20 - Current Dancing On Ice betting odds - 5/2

Tomorrow: Dancing On Ice betting odds for Chris Fountain. But if that's too long to wait - or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with - head right over to the Paddy Power Dancing On Ice betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.