Dancing On Ice being on a Sunday now has ruined us. Now we spend all weekend with our nose pressed against a clock screaming “Hurry up! Hurry up Dancing On Ice!” and then, when Dancing On Ice is over, the weekend is as well. Rubbish.

But, ahead of Sunday’s new Dancing On Ice, do we have any clues about what the show will contain? No. No we don’t. If we did even the slightest amount of research beforehand then maybe we would, but we didn’t so we don’t. So instead we’ll just guess that Sunday’s Dancing On Ice is Scandinavian Death Metal Night and the required element involves kitten sacrifice. It’s probably right.

Who’ll win Dancing On Ice? Here are the Dancing On Ice betting odds for Gareth Gates and Chris Fountain, with help from Paddy Power…

Gareth Gates – If ever there was a reason to dislike Gareth Gates fans – apart from the fact that their taste in music is so bad that it’s beyond a joke – is that they’re keeping him as second-favourite to win Dancing On Ice even though he’s not really that good. Gareth Gates isn’t Backley bad, but he’s yet to pull a routine out of the bag that’s memorable for anything other than the sight of his nipples and the amount he sweats after he’s finished, either. This week, though, it all changed – Gareth Gates did a dance to I Get Around which contained, brilliantly, a lot of him spinning around. Get it? Huh? The Dancing On Ice judges did, and gave Gareth a ridiculously high score for it. Although that score might have been for the amount he sweated after the dance. Truly, the man is a galactic sweater. SCORE – 23 – Current Dancing On Ice betting odds – 10/3

Chris Fountain - Bloody Chris Fountain. What a cocky, swaggering little tit he is. He’d be the easiest person in the universe to hate, were it not for the fact that he’s so far ahead of his Dancing On Ice rivals that they may as well just pack the show up now. Chris Fountain will win Dancing On Ice because the man has no shame. Most people, if asked to paint a rainbow across their face and do handstands on a slippery ice-rink, would tell you to piss off, but Chris is so desperate for attention that he’ll be wiping wax crayons across his eyes before you’d even finished the sentence. In rehearsal this week, Chris managed to drop his partner on her head, which we were hoping would dent his confidence a little. Not a chance – Chris danced to My Generation as if his life depended on it, as fast and enthusiastic as ever. And Chris Fountain even got the highest Dancing On Ice score of the night despite doing the rubbishest worm we’ve ever seen. Honestly, it was shit. SCORE - 24.5 – Current Dancing On Ice betting odds – 1/2

Next week: Seriously, guess. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Dancing On Ice betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.