Dancing On Ice returns to our screens on Sunday, and there’s just one question in our minds ahead of it.

Which part of Holly Willoughby’s body is she going to let dangle out of her frock this time? She’s let her boobs and her back dangle out now, which by our reckoning only leaves her belly button and bumhole. What’s it going to be? Belly button or bumhole? Sadly, Paddy Power hasn’t got round to opening its Belly Button Or Bumhole betting market yet, so we’re just going to have to bleat on about that Hollyoaks goon instead.

Who’ll win Dancing On Ice? Here are the Dancing On Ice betting odds for Chris Fountain, with help from Paddy Power…

Chris Fountain – Chris Fountain is so far out in front to win Dancing On Ice that it beggars belief. Really the producers should just kick Dancing On Ice in the head now and give the trophy to Chris Fountain. It’d be the perfect win-win for everyone – Chris Fountain could use the trinket to validate his impossibly annoying existence and the rest of us wouldn’t have to watch Dancing On Ice any more. But, since that looks unlikely to happen, we’ll just have to put up with Chris Fountain’s usual schtick for a little while longer. In rehearsals for Sunday’s routine to Ain’t No Sunshine, Chris Fountain decided to do an axel jump – the hardest jump anyone’s ever attempted in the history of mankind. And Chris couldn’t land it, giving us the real hope that he’d land hard on his skull on live TV. But, no, with tiresome predictability, Chris pulled the jump off for the performance and everyone loves him a little bit more. We feel sick. SCORE – 27 – Current Dancing On Ice betting odds – 1/2

Next week: you guessed it. More of this nonsense. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Dancing On Ice betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.