Dancing Car Man To Direct Halo Movie

Searching for someone to direct the Halo movie must have been a hard job - Halo already had a top writer in Alex Garland and a gifted executive producer in Peter Jackson, so the choice for the Halo director had to be just right.

Strange, then, that the director of the Halo movie has been named as Neill Blomkamp. Now we know what you're thinking. You're thinking 'Neill whaaa?' and you've got every right not to know who Neill Blomkamp is because he's never made a movie in his entire life. Neill Blomkamp has, however, made that Citroen advert with the annoying dancing car. Dancing cars, highly-anticipated movies about epic space wars… yeah, they're kind of the same.

As far as videogame movies go, Halo has the biggest chance of becoming a genuine success. Obviously, in a market like the videogame movie market where success is mainly judged on how many times you can show a glimpse of Milla Jovovich's minge it wouldn't take much, but Halo is shaping up to be a belter.

Halo is probably in the top three best-loved videogames around, after the Grand Theft Auto games and Funky Farm, so when Microsoft announced a Halo movie, the spods went crazy. Then when it announced that the Halo movie would be released in 2007, the spods went even crazier. Then when it was announced that Peter Jackson would executive produce the Halo movie, the spods realised that the Halo movie would be five hours long, contain extended stretches where the characters only spoke Elvish and had 37 different endings one after another, sighed and struggled to maintain their general level of craziness.

And now comes the biggest news of them all - Halo isn't coming out until 2008 now. But it does have a director. Who's never made a film before. South African Neill Blomkamp is probably most famous for making that Citroen advert where the car turns into a robot, does a bit of a dance and then turns back into a car again. Which, our limited knowledge of cars tells us, is probably not the first thing you'd look for in a car. It's unclear whether or not Neill Blomkamp made the follow-up advert, where a man is trying to quietly fish in an icy lake, only for his stupid car to turn into a robot again and fucking ice skate all over the lake, probably scaring off the fish so much that the man's family will have to go hungry for another week. If that is one of Neill Blomkamp's adverts, we're boycotting the Halo movie.

Anyway, Neill Blomkamp eventually got the Halo-directing job after Peter Jackson was impressed by a short film of his entitled Alive in Joburg, a documentary-style piece about space aliens trying to live in South Africa. Having no real CV to speak of, we can't say how good a signing Neill Blomkamp will be for the Halo movie. Just so long as he leaves his stupid dancing cars at home.

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Game On For Halo Director - Reuters

[story by Stuart Heritage]