When young hoodlums aren’t collectively bothering grannies or sniffing bottles of glue, they're off gathering ASBOs. Just like Scout badges, there are ASBO badges for arson, nicking, impregnation and nicking bottles of cider from Tesco.

It now seems that groups of these ruffians have formed something called a 'hip-hop collective', otherwise known as the Blackout Crew to me and you. Hey look! Even we did a little rap there. Where’s our record deal at? 

If this godawful song starts to hurt your ears, you can at least switch the sound off and laugh at the video. It looks like some sort of inbred pikey chav scum get-together. All the latest sports gear is on show here, presumably nicked from JJB earlier that day. It doesn’t even appear they needed a stylist, though the car must have been a prop. A knackered Vauxhall wouldn’t have been as glamorous.

Hopefully the Blackout Crew won’t come and stab us after reading this.