A new year, a new dawn, another fucking bill just dropped through the letterbox. See if you can figure out what is Creased and what is Folded from that sentence.

Folded:

• Quizmania (help us, shoot us, do something!)
• Debbie King (see above. Slightly more understandable)
• Editors (gonna be bigger than toast this year)
• Half price calenders (it’s a slow month)
• Gordon Ramsay (not a murderer, after all)

Creased:

• Phat Beach…I’ll Be Ready (shat beach…give it a miss)
• Leftover Christmas Nibbles in Supermarkets (nobody bought those glazed chili snacks for a reason)
• Soapstar Superstar (the only thing worse is being dead)
• MVC (was a rough Christmas for those guys)
• Lost (oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear…)

“Rip out his brains and throw ‘em on the floor!”

Obscure as you like, The Professional Golgo 13 (DVDs) – a Manga film from the early nineteen eighties with worse sex scenes than Basic Instinct.

This week’s quote is more appropriate for the end of the party season:

“I’m being post-modern, before it’s fashionable.”