Christmas: good for most people (folded), bad for shop assistants who don’t want to work much (creased).

Folded:

• Coldplay (nobody is more surprised than us, but Talk is pretty damn good)
• Singing stupid lyrics (try "a cold Christmas day" instead of "an honest mistake" in that Bravery song)
• Jason and The Argonauts (DVDs) (it’s Ray Harryhausen time of year again)
• Orange Wednesdays (believe it or not, they actually do make you go to the cinema more)
• Death to extortionate high street travel agents (no machine gun required)

Creased:

• Nissan Micra C+C convertible (would make even Sara Cox look too feminine)
• Electro (thanks to Madonna and the Sugababes, the term is a joke)
• The Nokia 9300I (anyone above fifteen should really stop being interested in this crap)
• Radio DJs who talk up to the vocal (you can take Moyles out of the hospital, but you can’t take the hospital out of Moyles)
• Xbox 360 (got some teething trouble, have we Microsoft?)

"Johnny cuts himself shaving…"

…was from Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang. As film references go it was a tad obscure, so we’ll stick to an easier (spoken) quote this week:

"Tell her you work for the CIA. She’ll be impressed."