Fucking London prices = creased. Fucking London women = folded.

Folded:

• Crimestoppers Most Wanted website (you might see your mate!)
• Starbucks Christmas mint chocolate drink (if you must go outside in this weather, stop and have one of these)
• George Best (you don’t have to die to get in Folded, but you do have to fight)
• The Prisoner returns (could be the new Lost. Only weirder)
• Late night shopping (10pm every weekday at Manchester’s Trafford Centre. New shirt or present for Granny? No contest)

Creased:

• Country music (it’s just crap, isn’t it?)
• Not wearing a helmet (this video clip is harsh)
• Richard Hammond (he’s turning into a right cocky little git)
• Father-fucking-Christmas (alive and well and living in Oxford of all places)
• Lady Sovereign (Mr Blobby was less of a novelty)

"Well, that went as well as could be expected."

Thank you Mr. Wallace from The Wrong Trousers (DVDs), we couldn’t agree more. This week’s quote is not a quote at all. It’s a visual wheeze you will never, ever get:

"Johnny cuts himself shaving…"

Clue: Shoot first, then snog.