hecklerspray lost several shillings in an Ultimate Movie Quiz pub game this week. We were gutted (creased). We later found £10 in a friend’s wallet. That made us happy (folded).

Life’s so like that, eh?

Folded:

• Nokia 8800 (phone)(all stainless steal. Like a DeLorean)
• Guillemots (CDs) (oh, we’ll hate them. Just not yet)
• Simon Cowell (for not being Louis or Sharon)
• Every Which Way But Loose / Any Which Way You Can (DVD re-release featuring Ray Charles and Clint Eastwood singing Beers To You – the finest duet ever)
• Wonka Triple Dazzle Caramel (like gold-dust round these parts)

Creased:

• England’s footy team (and we’ve still got the cricket to bugger up, too)
• Willy Wonka (him again. Our obsession continues with news that Nestle provided 206 vats of the stuff to make Wonka’s chocolate stream. Why not just dye some water brown?)
• Louis Walsh (without a doubt the single biggest cunt on TV)
• Bestival (sounds like something dodgy with animals to us)
• American celebrities (big help with that flood, guys. Maybe you should all just cough up a million quid each, though, yeah?)

K-9 (DVDs) was responsible for last week’s classic movie quote. And now we’re going to rip off Empire once again by picking something equally obscure.

"Has this cocksucker ever been on a sit?"