This week a massive spider ran out from underneath the hecklerspray sofa and we can’t find it anywhere. That’s Creased (Bad).

We now keep our shoes on at all times, which protects both the environment and our toesies. That’s Folded (good).

Folded:

• Client (seductive girl duo out on Toast Hawaii)
• Extras on BBC2 (it’s a proper sitcom, get over it)
• The Magic Numbers (we know we shouldn’t, but they’re just so cute)
• Stripes on DVD (Bill Murray being funny ha-ha, not funny weird)
• ‘Cunt’ on Radio 1 (at three in the morning, but it was still there)
• ProGo (compressed air pogo stick that’ll send you six feet in the air if you’re skinny enough)

Creased:

• Lee Ryan (like you’re surprised)
• The Office on DVD (was it ever that funny, really?)
• Road House 2 (it’s been announced, Swayze’s not confirmed)
• The OC on DVD (if you’re male and you watch this you’re gay – not a bad thing per se, unless you don’t know it yet)
• Tops of the Pops (stoppit, it’s done, finished, cooked)
• Bras (Scarlett Johansson won’t wear one, the slut)

"We’ve been ratted out here boys."

Name that film…