Prepare to feel happy, then crappy.

Folded:

• 2008: a good year for old movies (with an all-new Indy, Batman, Bond and Rambo coming out, at least one of them has to be alright)

• One Tree Hill (nah, only kidding)

• www.shutterstock.com (sell your photos online. Nude Vogue models and an outrageous expense account here we come)

• The Simpsons Game on PS3 (not much more than yet another Castle of Illusion riff, but at least as funny as the recent bloated movie)

• Ripping an unwanted credit card apart with your teeth (not as hard as you might think – and might get you a free drink if someone is drunk enough to bet you)

Creased:

• Pizza for one (has anyone been full after one of these? Ever?)

• P.S. I Love You (if comedy leprechauns made a movie, this would be the awful-but-far-too-funny-to-be-offensive result)

• Carrying a comb in your pocket (for anyone under the age of sixty this should be a whipping offence)

• Thorntons chocolates leftover after Christmas (sickly after one and we’ve got four boxes to finish)

• Movie stuntmen from the 1950s (brave and everything, doing stunts without wires, but that old ‘leap and roll’ every time they get punched in a fight now looks like a typical premier league football match after the likes of Bourne and new Bond)