Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You the Way it is

Your dose of the good guys and the bad guys this week.

Folded:

• The new and improved iPod Nano (smaller, thinner, cheaper and brilliant. A perfect fit for your Christmas stocking)

• Chubbies (no, not ‘a chubby’ – chubbies. Cute little things that you can place around your computer and knock over from time to time)

• Wearing giant bras on your head while being dragged around the smalls department of Marks and Spencer (never gets old)

• The Nines (a quality, quirky alternative to the ponderous The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford)

• Danny Stack’s screenwriting blog (who isn’t writing a screenplay these days? Danny’s blog is your bible: a really decent chap with more useful advice than Ray Mears in the Sahara desert after a plane crash)

Creased:

• Simple plumbing jobs that turn into WW3 (two guys turn up to fix the problem, they call two more guys; those two guys bring bigger hammers and bigger drills: Crash! your house is detonated in a blizzard of plaster dust and half-empty coffee mugs)

• 101 Number Ones (more like 101 Number Twos, this appalling CD collection actually opens, opens, with Reet Petite)

• Transformers on DVD (just as bad as it was at the cinema, with the possible silver lining of being able to take an undisturbed nap whenever you feel like it)

• The 'What’s hot and what’s not’ section of The Guardian’s Weekend magazine and their feeble rubbishing of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (it’s thanks to drippy fashion journalists like these who spend their days shrieking about leggings that this great show got cancelled in the first place. They should keep their mouths shut)

• Heat stickers (quite apart from being this ghastly magazine’s most tacky promotion ever, they really hit a new low by printing a photograph of Jordan’s disabled son Harvey alongside the jibe ‘Harvey wants to eat me’. Nice going there, sleazeballs)