“Whose side are you on…?”

Folded:

• Stardust (bizarre fairytale in the mould of The Princess Bride. Just as inventive and funny, if a tad overlong)

• Charlie Brooker’s The Tudors skit on Screenwipe (“I’ve gotta get thru this, I’ve gotta get thru this”)

• Bandwidth speed tester (useful, but can make for miserable reading)

• Lions for Lambs, released on Nov 9th and showing at the London Film Festival (maybe the movie The Kingdom wasn’t. Both written by the same guy anyway)

• Róisín Murphy and her wacky dance moves (leaping around like a spaz in shoulder pads for her latest video Let Me Know, this ex-Moloko lass has never looked sexier)

Creased:

• That The Long Good Friday remake you may have heard about… (it’s happening, and Paul WS Anderson of Resident Evil ‘fame’ is directing)

• Brian from What About Brian (current TV frontrunner for the ‘want to punch him so hard in the face’ award)

• Kylie Minogue’s new single (she’s had a rough run, but her comeback effort 2 Hearts is worse than anything even Charlotte Church might come out with)

• Getting an old banger MOT’d (these days if your faithful jalopy so much as coughs a carbon emission, you are suddenly down yet another hundred quid)

• Ratatouille (critically acclaimed, but too boring for kids)