Don’t try too hard to be aloof, you’ll come off like a student.

Folded:

• Transformers (cool toys, cool looking movie. That’ll do)

• Boogie Nights’ Birthday (10 years old this year and available as the most beautifully packaged region 1 DVD ever)

• Brian Belo’s ‘politics is showbiz for ugly people’ maxim (the Big Brother 8 contestant didn’t make this quote up, so he’s either just playing really dumb or reads the occasional magazine at his dentist’s. Either/or really – he’s nailing the game)

• Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip comes to More 4 (on the 26th July everyone can be happy ‘cos it’s Sorkin land all over again)

• Once In a Lifetime: Storyville on BBC2 (shown last Sunday, this was yet another excellent Storyville documentary. America tries to conquer the world with ‘soccer’ in the mid-1970’s. 2007, history repeats itself)

Creased:

• Moody teenagers (likely to be all over your front lawn moaning about being born for the rest of the summer)

• Umbrella-ellas-ellas-ellas, eh-eh-eh (they blow out in the wind and drive you mad on the radio)

• Optimus Prime Bust (click the link and see just what £45 will buy you in crazy world)

• Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip comes to More 4 (oh shit, it’s been cancelled)

• America according to Posh Spice (you all saw her on that TV show. She’s not taking the piss; she’s just a skinny-arsed bitch who should spend less time sucking her cheekbones and more time sucking the cock of someone important in the music business)