It’s all good – and bad.

Folded:

• Keith Allen Will Burn In Hell on Channel 4 (too late for last week’s deadline, this very funny documentary by a very funny man was very funny indeed)

• The Guardian (not the newspaper, the Kevin Costner coastguard drama. A great movie for people who don’t watch movies very much, as it has every cliché imaginable crammed into its generous two-hour running time. Of course, they are not clichés to the people who don’t watch movies very much, so that’s all right then)

• Gordon Brown as the new Prime Minister (far be it from us to get too political, but, with fingers crossed and buttocks clenched, we remain hopeful)

• Wimbledon (good tennis at the moment, when it’s not raining)

• “It turns out you’re just fat.” and “If you can’t afford a car, you can’t afford a baby” – two great pay offs from Karen Taylor (you’ll have to watch her BBC Three show Touch Me, I’m Karen Taylor, or more specifically a repeat, for these gags to make sense, but that wouldn’t be such a bad thing)

Creased:

• Rain  (once again half of Britain collapses under the weight of sustained downpours. Too hot? Fine, we know the tarmac might melt, we’re not used to it. Snow? Yes, it probably will block all the roads for a bit, we’re not Sweden. But Rain?! That’s all it ever does here, yet people still have to die because of it?!)

• Runaway    on E4 (yet another ‘new 24’ that is both crap and cancelled)

• Nectarines (the world’s most useless fruit. Taste nice, but bruise if you breathe on them)

• Queueing on those postal DVD rental thingies (never put too many choices on your list, they’ll always send you the oldest one first.)

• Counterfeit Simpsons greetings cards (the faces look all wrong and Moe has jet black hair again)