Didn’t Angela Rippon used to present a quiz on BBC1?

Folded:

• 28 Weeks Later (playing at most cinemas if you don't fancy Johnny Depp. Better than the original)

• Those Orange cinema ads with the guy who looks like Kevin Spacey (still funny, even when you’re sitting next to a couple of arty-looking students pretending not to laugh)

• Empire magazine’s ‘30 covers for 30 years of Star Wars’ promotion (it’s our job to be cynical, but it’s also our job to act like children. Besides, nobody’s making you buy them)

• Big Brother (Great, new people to laugh at. Girls)

• No Country For Old Men (a big hit at Cannes. Coen Brothers: about time, guys. And Josh Brolin, too. Winner)

Creased:

• Gordon Ramsay’s deadpan voiceover on the recipe section of The F-Word (in this most bizarre of shows, Ramsey ANNOUNCING the name of each ingredient used in his concoctions takes the fifth dimension biscuit. CHILLI… sprinkle liberally. ARTICHOKE… stuff with pimento. ORANGE… and so on)

• Calvin Harris: The Girls (watch the video. This guy loves himself so much, it’s a wonder he even knows there are any girls in the room)

• Trailer for Rambo 4 that’s been floating round Aint it Cool.com for the past couple of weeks (instantly it’s fun, but a whole two hours of steroid action and heads falling off? No, ta)

• Big Brother (Great. People. Lots of 'em)