You know the drill.

Folded:

• Ghosts on More4 (astonishing film about the Morecambe Bay ‘cockle pickers’. It will be repeated so watch it. You’ll be drawn in, guaranteed)

• Extras on DVD (if you’re a bit late with this or just wanting to give this another try, DVD is the place to indulge. Brilliant, genuinely funny work from a troupe of comedy maestros)

• Dr Fraser Crane on stage (well, the cast are reuniting for something, and that’s gonna be something good)

• Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves Special Edition DVD at Tesco for £2.99! (one of the best Worst Films Of All Time – with added extras to tickle your funny bone)

• Share your thoughts on the upcoming series of Top Gear (like all the messing about in America? Prefer road tests and gaskets and things? Have your say here, Clarkson’s listening)

Creased:

• Scarily overexcited Spider-Man 3 hype (after its recent Tokyo premiere this is likely to get even worse. Why, people? The first one was boring, the second one too long and full of the worst dialogue ever committed to film. What’s the third one gonna be, convoluted?

• Fat girls who keep referring to themselves as ‘curvy’ (“Oh, I’m a curvy girl, me!” No, you’re a fat girl who needs to lose some weight)

• Bananas (unless covered with custard and sugar, all these indigestion providers are good for is freaky porn and throwing at people reading poetry in the park)

• Being polite and friendly to girls standing at the bar while your girlfriend and her mates are sitting just a few feet away watching (surely you’re not just supposed to ignore somebody talking to you? Yep, that’s exactly what you’re supposed to do apparently)

• Inside Man (finally got round to seeing this film the other day and it was hopeless, daft and predictable. The soundtrack, however, was hilarious)