If it says six tablets in 24 hours, stick to that rule. The diarrhoea isn’t worth it.

Folded:

• Our Velocity by Maximo Park (…is still not getting on our nerves, despite its distinct similarity to Apply Some Pressure)

• Chilling out on the Bank Holiday (time off, gentleman, please)

• Hell Drivers (out on DVD for anyone who likes Stanley Baker driving a truck. We do)

• New Caramel-Toffee Frijj flavour (so much cooler than a bottle of ‘Coke Bloke’)

• Changing this feature to one item a week as a longer article (leave a comment for The Editor. He opens the penthouse doors for us to pitch every second Tuesday)

Creased:

• The whole Easter thing (if you’re religious or not able to buy chocolate on a regular basis, then it must be fun. For the rest of us it’s as boring as a 12” of any recent Lemar single)

• Shark (never, ever thought James Woods would be annoying)

• Handbrakes (park your car on a hill, without putting it in gear, and that baby will roll back and crash into a pillar, don’t you doubt it for a second)

• Tequila season (something about the occasional sunny day that makes this drink seem like the right thing to do. Then you die the next morning)

• Blogger death threats (it’s the stalking that’s worse though)