Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You the Way it is

No, we were wrong, January isn’t the most depressing month of the year after all.

Folded:

• The return of Charlie Brooker’s Screenwipe on BBC4 (the former Oink writer is still the best reason on TV not to miss In Bed With Medinner)

• Life on Mars puppet promos (nice, BBC, funny. Using the old comedy noodle there. Like it)

• Cinema queues (why do people think these have all but disappeared? If you are not Mr-book-with-your-credit card-organised you still have to stand in line with the riff-raff)

• The Long Blondes (sexy indie ladies)

• Playing ‘spot the demographic’ during the ad breaks on shows like Dancing on Ice (Okay, so we’re watching too, but you know what stellar company you’re in when they advertise the likes of Butlins and 'Car Shock' in-between)

Creased:

• Dakota Fanning’s parents (it won’t die! Bandwagon! Shame on you! Bandwagon. SHAME! Bandwagon)

• Grey’s Anatomy (we cover the backstage shenanigans of this show like a regular feature. Now watching it properly for the first time we are willing to acknowledge that, despite the constant medical crap, it’s actually not all that bad)

• Haven Holidays advert where the white trash couple share a laugh about farting in a Jacuzzi. (um, classy, we really want to go there. Perhaps t’wife can serve us some dinosaur rusk bites and oven chips, too? We can all be fat like daddy)

• Scented candles (dreadful, sneeze-inducing tools of the Devil. You’re better off having your gaff stinking of week old garbage. Believe us, we know)

• Skins on E4 (apparently takes place in some alternate reality where every teenager in the world shops at H&M and not JJB Sports)