Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You the Way it is

The Folded, the Creased and the Unexpected Erection.

Folded:           

• Whose Line is it Anyway? (Five US have a regular slot for the American edition. It pales in comparison to Friday nights on Channel 4, but Ryan Stiles still induces tears on regular occasions)
• Roppongi Hills Club (exclusive Tokyo night club that looks like a scene from Heat. You won’t get in)
• Forest Whitaker (not seen The Last King of Scotland yet, but it’s good to see the old Ghost Dog getting some acclaim)
• What’s Eating Gilbert Grape? (the DVD was free in The Guardian last week. Have you worked it out yet? His mother ate Gilbert Grape, his own giant mother!)
• New series of Prison Break on Five (not gay at all prison drama. No longer set in prison)  

Creased: 

• January lull (is it still here? February already!)
• The 51^st State (they keep sticking this on Film4 and it’s embarrassing. Far too indicative of the late-nineties gangster movie hangover two years too late, and yet another reason guns and comedy should merely remain the title of an obscure indie band)                       
• Books (they’re good things. None of us read enough)
• Celebrity Big Brother – Live! All morning! (you get out of bed, turn on E4; no music videos. Instead you get to see people sleeping, which doesn’t help you wake up much)
• Carla Romano (it’s not the first time she’s made into this column, and if the gurning microphone jostler continues reporting from awards ceremonies as if they are war zones, it won’t be the last)

For hecklerspray, for life, love, dammit for England: vote until your finger's sore for Chris Laverty in the Empire Thunderdome.