Are we all still accidentally writing 2006 on everything? Good, just making sure.

Folded:

• The Crimea (mark them up for a swell 2007. Their time has come)
• The Cinema Show on BBC4 (despite swooping dangerously close to disappearing up its own projector, this is still far better than poncey art-fest The Late Review)
• Mr Toxie Head Toxic Waste chews (they come in a plastic drum, like the sort Homer occasionally drinks from in The Simpsons. If you can manage the whole drum at once, you are a God)
• The Godfather collection on DVD (available stupidly cheap from just about anywhere you see a Sale sign at the moment. Time to fill up your shelf with something worth a damn, capiche?)
• Green Wing special ("Don’t you fucking dare interrupt me!" Now that’s how you do a special)

Creased:

• Robbie Williams (that’s it from this guy for a bit. Shame, he done the finest bit of rap since Morris Minor and the Majors)
• This Life + 10 on BBC2 (the title alone… awful, awful, awful, awful, awful… just awful. Not how you do a special at all)
• Quality Street (got loads left over from Christmas and they’re shit compared to Roses)
• Chewits Sour chews (even a tiny baby wouldn’t wince)
• Message boards (not the friendliest places in the world)

Vote (several times) Chris Laverty in the Empire Thunderdome. For the kids.