When you woke this morning, what was the first thing you did? You got a gun, right?

Folded:

• Ben Affleck: Mark 2 (soon to be a whole ‘nother kind of Superman. Watch your back, Matt…)
• Homemade cake (if you haven’t tried any recently, get somebody to make you one. If you don’t have anybody, perhaps substitute the word ‘cake’ for 'sex-toy’ instead)
• Ads for Casino Royale (it keeps on looking ace, we all keep on expecting the earth; bloodied and decently acted for once)
• Michael J Fox not acting the shake, mate (give the guy a break, people. Nobody remember Back to the Future? The Hard Way? Spin City even? We still love the guy!)
• Light mornings, dark nights (at least now you can feel like getting out of bed in the morning, and you can knock off the day earlier)

Creased:

• Blockbuster: not exactly busting on the special offers (two dvd rental and some worthless confectionery for a tenner? Hopeless)
• Bonfire night (or fireworks, Guy Fawkes, whatever you want to call it. It’s noisy and, whoever you are; you’re far too old to find things that go bang exciting. Unless you do the explosions in movies or kill people with a beret on)
• The Departed (baffling narrative, baffling tone, baffling acting, baffling execution. Or maybe a future comedy classic, it’s too early to tell)
• Bob Dylan (oh, what is it this week? His shit musical, that’ll do)
• Halloween hype (like Christmas, you spend weeks talking about the build up. You toy with the idea of having a party, or at least going into town wearing a Scream mask. But in the end you do nothing. You stare at Google’s mocked-up spooky logo and tell yourself, "I’ll definitely do something next year")