TV trails are a good thing (folded). They tell you what’s on and when. TV trails featuring the song My Sharona are not a good thing (creased). They tell you nothing.

Folded:

• Empire by Kasabian (obviously the battle-hungry video is spiffy, but the song hits some new musical angles for them too. Nice going, lads)
• The smiling space lady (as tourism goes, it’s better than a quick break in Malaga. And doesn’t she look happy)
• Jonathan Ross's Japanorama on BBC Three (we count the days until Johnny gives up trying to be David Letterman for good and just does this stuff all the time)
• Hoff power (you’ve got to admire David Hasslehoff. Up there on stage with Kitt, still squashed into his 30" jeans from 1985, hair crumbling to dust, face tanned like a teak sideboard. It’s just possible we are witnessing the birth of a Supreme Being)
• Christmas in September (the supermarkets have got the right idea. Let’s get it over and done with)

Creased:

• When You Were Young by The Killers (more dull musical coffee from the most overhyped band in weekend rock. And as for that cringeworthy video…)
• Deliberately awkward parents complaining about Jamie Oliver (love him or really really hate him, you can’t deny he’s doing a good thing. Unless we all want our kids to become fatter than they already are?)
• Star Stories on Channel 4 (inexplicably produced comedy lookalike series with less laughs than a Deadringers Christmas special)
• The bloody Zutons (come on gang! Where’s all that promise gone? Another insipid song about a girl nobody has heard of. Check. One step closer to becoming the British, more gentle Red Hot Chilli Peppers. Check)
• Surly postmen (when was the last time you met a happy one?)