Folded = Good, blah, blah. Creased = Bad, blah, blah. We're just full of pointless crap this week. Co-Op divi?! Please.

Folded:

• Carling Reading and Leeds Festival (great shows, lousy tepid toilet water sponsor)
• Return of the Co-Op ‘divi’ (something for the old people. Still don’t have a clue what it is though)
• Disney's Little Einsteins singalong advert (could just be the finest piece of music we’ve heard all month)
• Northern booze prices (you’d be hard pushed to better £3.70 for two pints of Carlsberg in a decent city centre bar. Such a pity about the jibbering clientele)
• M&S party food (it’s a bank holiday, you buy dip. You don’t know why)

Creased:

• Taxi drivers that honk (pull up outside wherever, wait two seconds, then everyone in the surrounding area has to know they are there – HONK!. Never mind it’s 2am. Utter bastards, the lot of them)
• Beyonce dancing (in her latest video not only does she look ridiculous, she actually looks old. Frightening world that pop)
• No live Emmys coverage in the UK (didn’t wanna watch anyway…but it would have been nice to be invited. Before the Germans at any rate)
• The Wicker Man remake (oh, why the fuc-WHY?!)
• Nurses – ‘nine out of 10 nurses say they do not always have time to help ensure patients eat properly’ (never get sick. More to the point, never get elderly and sick)