Don’t walk 500 miles, take a train.

Folded:

• Spider-Man reboot (with an awful third film, awful MJ, awful CGI and awfully long running times, they should return to the clean, simple Nicholas Hammond way of doing things)
• History of Now: The Story of the Noughties (certainly a decade to remember, as these posho, big achieving talking heads remind us)
• The A-Team teaser trailer (Hannibal’s pretty good, eh?)
• North Face’s sales figures (their jackets are worn by every newsreader doing an outside broadcast during this big freeze. Always nice to see some individualism)
• Cinema vouchers (the sort of useful present no-one ever buys us for Christmas. Instead we get Lynx; Lynx and truffles from Aldi. So we’ll be fat and smell like a white van man)

Creased:

• Binge drinking (it’s not big, it’s not clever and you’ll probably piss yourself)
• TA button on your car radio (never mind the snow, these traffic announcements come on so loud you might crash your car scrambling for the volume)
• The A-Team teaser trailer (a tank on a parachute shooting down a plane. And you thought the TV show was daft)
• Snow (come on, off you go now, we’ve had enough)
• Presenters on the news mispronouncing ‘respite’ (just a minor thing, but when said eight times in a row it can get annoying)