It's still the summer, and that's good (Folded). Just a shame that's it's pissing down harder than an Incontinent's Anonymous meeting after a visit from the Lucozade bus (Creased). Here's what's been rocking and shocking our world this week…

Folded:

• Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe on BBC4  (Like Bob Mills' In Bed With Medinner, but minus The Avengers)
• Quinns (alcoholic drink made entirely of fermented fruit. Worth it as a curio alone)
• Community Service (That's right Boy George; sweep, you bastard, sweep!)
• No more Big Brother (Seriously, you find 70 different ways to call Pete a wet hippy)
• Back To The Future (Brilliant borderline anti-Libyan racism on TV all the sodding time!

Creased:

• BT (£125 to connect you to their shit service. That's like paying
  for a rusty nail only to hammer it in your own head)
• Justin Timberlake (His new song sounds like a ringtone. A really old one. On a Sendo)
• Syrup Diets (Not because it makes you skinny, but because mixing maple syrup with cayenne pepper sounds really fucking disgusting)
• The monarchy (No, really, squeeze my tit. It'd make your Mum proud)
• Jamie Oliver (Looks like the rest of your body has finally caught up with your tongue you mockney tit)