Winners and losers.

Folded:

• The Hangover (out now on DVD and funnier than a dog with no legs)
• Be original; buy a BlackBerry (get the different one)
• The Thick of It (so many put downs you’ll wish you were back at school)
• Eggnog latte (from Starbucks where the staff are a hell of a lot nicer than the customers)
• Hair wax (shiny)

Creased:

• Putting up Christmas decorations (more fun than taking them down, but still less enjoyable than sitting around doing nothing)
• Be boring; buy an iPhone (get the better one)
• Poor Malcolm Tucker (dark, less funny times are ahead)
• Alesha Dixon: Who’s Your Daddy? (don’t know who your father is? You now have Alesha as your spokeswoman. How d’you feel about that?)
• Hair gel (greasy)