Cheer up (folded), we’ll all be dead by Christmas (creased).
Folded:
- Imitation drinks/spirits (Spirit of Louisiana [Southern Comfort], Austin’s [Pimms], etc. Shedloads cheaper and just as good)
- Borders (open until 10 PM, even on Saturday. Just as shops should be)
- Illicit Encounters (a website to cheat with. Great!)
- Kathryn Drysdale (not a brilliant actress, not an object, just a damn fine piece of ass)
- Mini-Motos (rev them up and down every street you can find for as long as you want. Not our words, the words in your head, kids)
Creased:
- Saturday nights in town… any town (“I see dead people”)
- Prehistoric Park on ITV (most cringeworthy TV ever? No, but pretty damn close. Chasing dinosaurs indeed)
- Illicit Encounters (a website to cheat with. Terrible)
- British shops (open until about half-five, if you’re lucky. Waste of space – you’re better off using the net)
- Valerie by The Zutons (change our minds constantly about this band. Worst song of the year)
