Folded on the crest of a wave, Creased if you’re drowning underneath it.

Folded:

• The Apprentice returns (from 22nd February we’ve all got something else to moan/rejoice about)
• My Name Is Earl (gets funnier each week)
• Jeeves retiring (nobody liked you, nobody used you, but it was a fun idea anyway)
• Goldfrapp (looking fit and Riding a White Horse in her chirpy new video with cigarettes in it)
• Beards (and why not, dammit?)

Creased:

• Chip and Pin (watch someone tapping their number in at the checkout, then pick their pocket. Revolutionary technology indeed)
• Leo Sayer (soon to be gone and forgotten all over again)
• Charlize Theron (didn’t realise it at the time, but the chubby-cheeked chipmunk played exactly the same part in The Devil’s Advocate and The Astronaut’s wife. Stupid girl)
• New Jaguar XK (what’s up with those headlights?)
• Celebrity Tarzan (Moyles trying to out-Mills Mills and it doesn’t work. At all)

“A freaking 12-gauge, what do you think?”

Just about retrieves itself in the last act, but you still won’t find Napoleon Dynamite (DVDs) in our Top Ten Greatest Indie Flicks.

Do the hustle with this week’s quote and have a damn good guess.

“He was a fucking embarrassment to me!”