Highs and lows.

Folded:

• Knife coat hooks (ideal for rented accommodation. Flat inspection coming up? Put ‘em everywhere!)
• Call of Duty: World at War (already?! When did this come out? Is it any good?)
• ‘Ample’ Jodie Kidd (recently accused of selling the white stuff, now looks as though she’d rather sell you a homemade apple pie instead. Winner)
• Special Forces Heroes on Five (a bit ‘boys own adventure’, but a well researched, if politically light series nonetheless. Ooh, hark at us!)
• The Bow Street Runners game (anyone remember City of Vice from ten months back? Would you like it to come back for a second series? Play this game on the Channel 4 website and show those producers you care)

Creased:

• Namyslow Plum Beer (if you just can’t take your real ale then buy this instead. It looks like the real thing but tastes of jam sarnies)
• Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (why do they keep putting this tripe on TV? It’s so shite it actually stinks up your living room)
• Not voting for Daniel on X Factor (where’s everybody’s sense of humour gone? Just vote for the ASBO druggie then, see if we care)
• The fella with too much money who bought this (pilchard)
• Peter Jones rocking out to his band Hamfatter on Dragon’s Den: The Peter Jones Story (puts us in mind of Alan Partridge, “Come back on, ELO, and carry on playing”)