Home of the Quincy fan rant.

Folded:

• Pulling (an adult-themed, funny show on BBC Three? Noooooooooooo!!!!!)

• Crusha TV advert (if this was the early nineties that cat riding the exercise bike would have been on a t-shirt by now)

• Octopus (got a girlfriend with an upcoming birthday? No clue what to buy her? Go to this shop with money and leave stress free)

• The Villa Uncut (on Sky Three, if you’re ever about late on a Friday night. One episode is better than any series of Big Brother ever)

• Hotchickswithdouchebags.com (how do they do it? Money, son. Money)

Creased:

• Break The Ice by Britney Spears (or a remix of Boom Boom Boom Boom by The Vengaboys)

• Haute cuisine (tastes sublime, but makes you just as fat as any chav with their spicy Nik-Naks. The Nik-Naks are much cheaper too)

• The Last Shadow Puppets (they sport a pretentious, Beatles-esque retro image, because no indie band has thought of that before)

• 21 (watchable, but it’s a shame Hollywood still only equates Asian-Americans with samurai swords)

• The Simple Life (starting to think E4 might run this on a loop to replace Friends. It’s a toss up over which one contains the most acting)