Folded: gooooooooood. Creased: baaaaaaaaaaaaad.

Folded:

• hecklerspray: Number 45 most powerful in the WORLD! (we spit on all of you! Except our fans, we kiss our fans)

• Sarah Polley (only 29 and nominated for a Best Adapted Screenplay Award at this year’s Oscars. People should mention her more, just in passing or in reference to her hugely promising career)

• Star Wars mimobots (stupid waste of money. We enjoy wasting money)

• Tipping in restaurants (don’t do it! Feel good about yourself – just don’t go back)

• Vantage Point (come on, it’s nowhere hear as bad as everyone’s saying)

• New Heroes of Comedy: Sacha Baron Cohen (surprisingly good programme, because it didn’t just kiss celebrity ass. How did so many great comedians get their big break on the The 11 O'Clock Show though?!)

Creased:

• Litter (people are so dumb these days they even drop it in their own driveway)

• Channel 4’s promos for Dirty Sexy Money (why does Peter Krause look and sound about twenty years old? It’s weird and it’s their fault)

• Howard the Duck on DVD (suddenly re-issued on a barebones disc for some ungodly reason. Not even if you’re drunk…)

• Channel Dave (started out alright, but re-runs of They Think It’s All Over and Tonight With Jonathan Ross? Even TMF is the better option)

• Lowri Turner (this woman gets married and has kids only to bitch about getting married and having kids. A tiresome martyr whose only perception of men is that they fart and like football. Presumably girls just spend every weekend watching Dirty Dancing in their pyjamas then?)