It takes a lot to impress us here at hecklerspray, but getting a feature film to the top of the US weekend box office usually does it – unless the film is a lot of girly codswallop about some men dancing around like rubbish fairies, obviously.

Stomp The Yard, believe it or not, is that exact rubbish fairy-man dancing film, and it's top of the US weekend box office this week. Quite why $22 million's worth of people decided to go and see Stomp The Yard – a film that's more or less about a student who dances to beat some other dancing students at dancing even though the whole world knows it would have been far easier for him just to go "Dancing? Pffff" and spend his time in further education getting drunk on horrible watered-down lager, living in filthy almost-condemned accommodation and walking around holding books he'd never normally read if he didn't think that it'd make him look deep enough to get laid occasionally – is beyond us. Naturally.

Stomp The Yard is the top movie in this week's US weekend box office, and is another attempt by Hollywood to offset aspects of the urban black experience against a nauseatingly inappropriate uplifting moral message. Although we've only seen the trailer, we'd say that Stomp The Yard fails because it appears to revolve around the message that you will get respect if you're a burly man who does formation dancing in the school canteen. In reality you don't get respect. You get beaten up. Here's the US weekend box office top five:

1 - Stomp The Yard (We expect that the next of these films will be Ghostride The Whip… To Respect where a troubled underprivileged black young man goes on a rite of passage by irresponsibly jumping out of his moving car, hopping onto the bonnet and dancing while his goonish friend – who is filming it so he can put it on YouTube – goes "ghostride the whip, ghostride the whip, ghostride the whip" and learns a lot about himself in the process) $22,000,000

2 - Night At The Museum (Night Of The Museum marks the first instalment of Robin Williams' ambitious 'Robin Williams plays all of America's presidents' scheme. Next up; Robin Williams plays a zany livewire version of Calvin Coolidge trapped on holiday in a hilarious malfunctioning van with the woman out of Curb Your Enthusiasm) $17,100,000

3 - The Pursuit Of Happyness (The Pursuit Of Will Smith Making A Film That Doesn't Make Us Want To Blow Chunks, more like) $9,100,000

4 - Dreamgirls (In which Eddie Murphy's outlandishly one-dimensional take on a James Brown-style soul singer suddenly becomes a touchingly emotional tribute to the dead star, instantly earning him an Oscar) $8,122,000

5 – Freedom Writers (Poor Hilary Swank – she spends two solid hours laboriously convincing a group of black underprivileged students that the way to get ahead is to stay in school and work hard and then – pow – Stomp The Yard undermines her message by showing them that you can get the same results by basically dancing around like a nonce) $7,117,000

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Weekend Box Office – Box Office Mojo