‘Smooth’ – i.e. boring – R&B whippersnapper Craig David has taken time out from crafting unbelievably tedious songs to fix a new Lady-Target in his deadened eyes.

The lucky girl in question? None other than Layer Cake ’star’ and tabloid relationship crash victim Sienna Miller.

Craig parted his beard to tell the world:

"She is stunning. I know she’s in a weird place at the moment after the whole Jude thing, but she’s my kind of girl."

Believe us, folks – if this prospective Craig David (CDs)/Sienna Miller (DVDs) relationship ever gets off the ground than the planet is doomed. The sheer combination of this pair’s self-satisfaction may well be of such a level that it could tear a rip in the fabric of reality.

"Looks-wise, you’re perfect," Craigy-boy said, hijacking an interview with the Mirror and using it as an open address to the actress.

To which Sienna probably replied "Famous, are you? Okay, then. Yeah. Whatever. Let’s hitch up." Or something along those lines. We expect.

To date, young Master David has also been attached to ‘Venezuelan model Aida Yespica, Tom Cruise’s former friend Sofia Vergara, Playboy playmate Summer Altice and long-term model interest Roxy Ingram.’

Jesus. A line-up like that and he still sings with the enthusiasm of a fifty-six year old bank manager. On lithium. On a rainy Wednesday in Hull. Whose cat has just died.

Anyway – there’s your story, kids. Craig David would quite like to have sex with an attractive young lady.

Slow news day, anyone?

Read More:

Craig Makes A Bid For Sienna – Ananova

[story by C J Davies]