We knew it was too good to be true – yesterday we were full of news about how demented rock and roll monster Howling Mad Courtney Love was due to take over Paula Abdul’s increasingly frazzled judging duties on American Idol, but it isn’t to be.

American Idol executive producer Nigel Lythgoe and Courtney Love herself have both quickly come forward to refute any claims that Courtney Love had been approached to permanently replace Paula Abdul on American Idol. “Why would I do a thing like that? Have you actually seen her lately?” Lythgoe probably thought to himself while politely dismissing the rumour to a magazine, while Courtney Love revealed that she wouldn’t have accepted the American Idol job anyway, for fear that the hot studio lights would cause her already massively disproportionate cheekbones and lips to swell up and burst like the world’s biggest zit under an industrial magnifying glass in the sunshine.

OK, we made that up. Long story short – Courtney Love isn’t doing American Idol.