Courtney Love Not Good Enough For Online Dating

Online dating is a wacky old world, isn't it?

Imagine - after organising a meeting with Hotchick77 last week - our total surprise when she was actually 5'7 and not the wonderfully petite 5'5 she'd specified on her profile. Mind you - that was nothing compared to her face when she noticed us approaching, ski mask pulled down, machete in hand, screaming "Come home and meet my mummy! COME HOME!"

In retrospect, though, we like to think we got off light. A more unfortunate turn of events could have seen us going for a 'get-to-know-ya' session with World's Most Famous Groupie Courtney Love … an evening we predict would be roughly about as enjoyable as whittling down your own shinbone with a sharpened classroom ruler.

Think about it - what exactly would you do on a date with Courtney Love? Where would you take her? What drinks would you buy her, and - more importantly - how would she react when you cracked the old gag: "I say, I say, I say … this pint of shandy reminds me of Kurt Cobain. It's very bitter and has no head"? No - the whole idea just raises too many questions.

Not that we'll ever have to worry about such things. Love, you see, has been officially deemed by the Lords Of The Internet as just being too darn rubbish to date online. Trying her luck with dating site eharmony, she took a compatibility test to discover that (her words, and spelling):

"Gurss what? After an hour plus of this thing they tell me that two per cent of thier 'Cliermnts ar elike me and there was no-one for me." 

Well. Quite.

Still… not to worry, Courters. There are plenty of up-and-coming new rock stars out there for you to leech on to and drive to an early grave! Hell - the world is your oyster! Look on the bright side - you're still young, right?

Oh. 

Read More:

Love attempted to date online - Contactmusic