Judging by his recent behaviour, getting Mel Gibson to help keep you sober is a bit like getting Jeffrey Dahmer to help you stop killing boys and storing their severed heads in your fridge – but, compared to Courtney Love, Mel's a saint.
And now Courtney Love has decided to tell the world that she's been sober for 15 months, something which she puts entirely down to the intervention of Mel Gibson. Thanks to this new endorsement by famed wildgirl Courtney Love, Mel Gibson now feels that the time is right to publish his very own self-help book entitled Now YOU Can Stay Sober The Mel Gibson Way (Unless You're A Fucking Jew). OK, the book doesn't exist. But if it did it'd probably be written in sodding Chicomuceltec or something.
Courtney Love has every reason to be top of the world at the moment. Her dead husband is richer than anyone else's dead husband, that Alan Partridge baby she was blabbing about never turned up and she's been sober for 15 months. Back in February Courtney Love said that she had kicked "a very gnarly drug habit." Back then Courtney Love didn't mention Mel Gibson's name at all, but things have changed and Mel Gibson needs a friend. Oh, and Courtney Love has a book out now, did we mention that?
Anyway, talking to Diane Sawyer, Courtney Love says that Mel Gibson kick-started her sobriety by turning up to a hotel she was staying at with addiction counsellor Warren Boyd in tow. And it just so happened that Courtney Love was doing a bunch of drugs at the time, as People reports:
"Mel kept coming to the door with this cheesy grin going, 'Hi!'" Love said. "I just kept looking at him going, 'Blank off!' … I know him and he's a nice guy, but it just didn't matter who it was. It could have been Jesus. I didn't care." But the others doing drugs with her recognised Gibson and left with him to get a cheeseburger – leaving Boyd alone with Love to coax her into rehab.
As well as making Courtney Love sound like Little Miss Buy My Book Responsible Rock N Roll Star, that anecdote also goes some way to restoring public faith in Mel Gibson – who's currently most famous for getting trashed on tequila, driving around until he was arrested, claiming ownership on all of Malibu, inventing the term 'Sugar Tits' and blaming every war ever on the fucking Jews. Mel Gibson has done all he can to put his boozy Jew-slagging behind him, like taking flak from Spartacus and trying to divert attention onto the Iraq war – which, by Mel's theory, must've been started by the Jews anyway – and giving lengthy apologetic interviews to, hey, Diane Sawyer again. But now, finally, this affirmation from Courtney Love is bound to reestablish Mel Gibson's place in the halls of the Hollywood greats.
Oh, who are we kidding – it's Courtney Love for God's sake. Who listens to her?
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