Of all the ‘what’s that all about?’ stories we’ve come across over the course of our life, none have been so stunningly ‘what’s THAT all about?’ as this weekend’s news that rock widow and drug black-hole Courtney Love is apparently with Steve Coogan’s baby.
The News Of The World reported the story on Sunday and, although it’s taken the world a little while to catch up – probably trying to work out who this Alan Partridge fella is – finally the world is united in it’s weirded-outness.
According to the Sunday newspaper a vague ‘friend’ of Courtney revealed that the
star told her that during a stay at the same
hotel in Los Angeles, Coogan (DVDs) and Love (CDs) got – ahem – a little cosy. Here’s the quote:
"It was literally non-stop sex. Steve is a fucking sex addict and
has a major substance problem. He
even asked me to get ten Viagra pills for him so that he could keep
going, despite the fact he was past the point of exhaustion. When I was
with Steve, I did things that I shouldn’t have done. I passed the line
of what even I think is normal."
Sadly though, like the news that the Piano Man was just a gay German taking the piss who just plonked one piano key instead of playing real songs, the Courtney/Coogan baby story looks like it will also end in disappointment.
Coogan – currently inexplicably dressed up as Wayne Coyne from The
Flaming Lips (CDs) – denies the claims that he got Courtney up the duff.
"It’s nonsense," a spokeswoman claimed.
And now, going back on the initial News Of The World quote that "Yes,
I am with Steve’s baby," Courtney Love’s spokesperson has now also
denied a pregnancy, saying instead that "She confirms that she and Steve are good
friends and have met a few times in Los Angeles."
On Friday, Courtney Love narrowly missed a
spell in prison for violating terms of her probation by taking drugs.
Instead, she must now enter a 28-day drug treatment program.
Steve Coogan, star of Around The World In 80
Days – one of our guilty favourite films – is continuing to attempt to
break America by preparing to star in a remake of The Persuaders TV
Whatever happened, we really, really wish that Coogan started off proceedings by saying "Come on Courtney, let’s be appalling".