The problem is, once you’ve said you’ve had sex with a child, people just don’t think of you as trustworthy.

Just look at Roman Polanski. It’s been three decades since he admitted having sex with a 13-year-old girl and fled America, and now America is still keeping him at arm’s distance.

An LA court has decided that Roman Polanski can only try to get his statutory rape charge dismissed if he appears there in person, which is obviously a trap. Really, we don’t know why Roman Polanski won’t stay in France – that sort of behaviour is mandatory there, we heard.